Food, Excuses, and Obstruction

The diet issue.

I thought that incorporating exercise would be the hardest thing, but a year later, while not easy, I'm really all about the back patting on my accomplishment. I am proud that I was able to figure out how to make this a part of my life.

To do this, it was not easy. It's expensive. It's time consuming. I had a lot of obstacles to overcome and I can now say a year in, I have figured out a way to at least get four days a week in and am working on a fifth.

Somehow, I fell in love with the process of making this happen. I didn't look at any big goals. There was no final outcome that I sought that would tell me I "won." When making a change to your lifestyle, I do believe that it is THE PROCESS that you need to focus on and not the result.

The question is,

CAN I DO THIS WITH MY EATING HABITS?

Why is changing my eating lifestyle so hard?

Here are some excuses:

• I have a busy schedule.
• I have to feed picky children. 
• I have to feed a somewhat picky husband. 
• I LIKE the social aspects of eating. 
• I love to eat. 
• I love to cook. 
• I feel deprived when I cannot indulge. 
• I feel like my approach to eating and enjoying food is part of my identity. 
• I feel that there's no point to trying to lose weight because I'm just going to gain it back again. 
• I feel that the only way to achieve weight loss is to not eat and especially not eat anything worthwhile. 
• It seems that the amount of calories I need to lose and then maintain or just not a lot. 

OK, so let me break some of this down. Which of these can I easily throw out?

The first three. I can't use those excuses. I eat a lot of weird stuff and I'm experimental and my attitude is SCREW them. So, if I make elaborate, not-so-healthy meals without caring what the family will eat, there shouldn't be a change. The busy schedule is an issue, but I overcame that with the exercise, so we know that I can't use that as an excuse.

Also, I love to cook should be an asset to this whole endeavor, so let's throw that out. Now I'm left with:

• I LIKE the social aspects of eating. 
• I love to eat. 
• I feel deprived when I cannot indulge. 
• I feel like my approach to eating and enjoying food is part of my identity. 
• I feel that there's no point to trying to lose weight because I'm just going to gain it back again. 
• I feel that the only way to achieve weight loss is to not eat and especially not eat anything worthwhile. 
• It seems that the amount of calories I need to lose and then maintain or just not a lot. 

The other ones are way more difficult to sort out and to overcome, I think.

I'm very concerned that if I don't make some significant daily lifestyle changes to my diet, I will be diagnosed with Type II diabetes in the next couple of years! My bp is still on the higher side (123/84 this morning) with medication and age will only make that worse.

Time is NOT on my side.

Ideally, I'd love to find a daily eating plan that wouldn't have me give it all up. Whole 30, Paleo, anything that asks me to just fully give up sugar and carbs DISTRESSES ME!

WHY IS THAT?

Am I some sort of addict and I'm in deep, deep denial?

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS? DO I HAVE IT IN ME TO CHANGE?

Interesting Take on Why Exercising Doesn't Translate to Weight Loss

Well, this is an interesting read:

Link here: 
http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/28/health/weight-loss-exercise-plateau/

I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

I spent an embarrassing number of minutes today whining about what I have not accomplished in regards to weight loss.

Then, I looked at the calendar.

Yesterday was the official milestone marker of when I changed from being a couch potato to an exerciser. One year ago, March 7, 2015, was when I started with my trainer, Kara at All in One Fitness in Alameda, Ca.

Over the weekend, I put in a bunch of stats we've collected on the worn out manila folders into a spreadsheet. Yes, my weight hovered near the same, but the bp numbers are down and stable and it was great just to see how many days in the last year that I was in there! Just the fact that I went in on those days is a miracle!

While I could take time with my list of things I wish had happened, I have to say I'm very proud of this milestone. It was a considerable investment in myself involving both time and money and I'm grateful to be in the position to have done such an investment so I thank my supportive husband, for sure.

I'd like to thank Kara and her incredible team, who helped me realize this goal. Everyone has been so supportive through my ups and downs. They really do care. I feel so comfortable in that place.

I'd like to thank my new gym friends, Meredith, Chris and Lindy and a couple who's names I don't know, but who I see there on a regular basis. We're all in this together.

In the course of this year I have been able to improve my physical state in a very big way.

• I feel strong.
• I can see definition in my arms and legs. 
• I can take a steep flight of stairs without fearing I'm going to die.
• It's easier for me to get up off the floor.
• My systolic blood pressure has consistently been 120 or less.
• I am down four pounds since I first weighed in. I know, it's not much, but since I only focused on exercise, it means something. 
• I sleep very well.
• I'm no longer fearful of the gym.
• Stress levels are way, way down. (If I had to pick one really concrete difference that I feel, it is this!)
• I'm at a point where if I don't work out, I feel bad about it; I miss it. THIS IS HUGE.
• I know that even if I don't lose any pounds, that this change has been a good one and something I should never give up.

I had to write these things down, because I'm a bit angry that the weight hasn't come off. 

People keep trying to offer advice. I don't think exercise helps you lose weight. I no longer believe that. But, it gives you a ton of other things. 

Here are my goals for the coming year (and it's a bit scary to write this down and post in the world): 

• Change my eating habits for calorie reduction.
• How? I'm working on new eating plans and new ideas for "go-to" foods. Too often I reach for the same things and they are very calorie rich, but not so nutrition dense.
• Run a small race, like a 5K or something.
• How? Enroll, maybe Bay to Breakers or the one in our town on the 4th of July and start increasing my running in nature time (I need to move from the treadmill to the street).
• Increase workout sessions from four days to five days a week.
• Thursdays are just sitting there waiting to be scheduled!
• Be nice to myself.
• For the many things I can beat myself up about, I know I'm doing the best I can in the best tortoise way I can and it's ok.

What are your goals for the next 12 months and how will you meet them?

Not Quite Ready for My Close-Up, Mr. DeMille

Midweek, I'm back at the gym and tracking. That's me, up there, amid my very messy office. I'm determined to take photos of myself as part of this process. I am also doing some decluttering, but you have to break eggs to make an omelette. I was going to try and do a video post today, but I chickened out. Maybe next week.

Friday is the scale day so not sure what to expect when I step on. I admit to weighing in whenever I go to the gym, but the only one that counts is Friday. I've been officially tracking and monitoring and limiting intake for two weeks. I have data. Promising data. But, I'm not going to report any real numbers unless I get below the hover weight. Not there yet.

I got a haircut today and some new clothes. Trying to treat myself like someone feeling good about herself. I'm not smaller, but I DO feel good.

I came back from a weekend in Tahoe with five other families. We had a great time, despite tween hormones (three girls and seven boys ages 8 through 12), living with 20 people for a few days, not being into skiing, and wanting to play it cool with the imbibing and the eating. We took turns making somewhat healthy meals and no one really sat around eating mindlessly. I have had some good times with these families, but all the moms, at least, are in a state of wanting to tone down some of the antics from our earlier days. Sounds fine to me.

The weekend was great. Beautiful, warm weather, but enough snow on the ground to keep the kids occupied. All the old people are low-carbing it so it was rather subdued in both eating and alcohol intake.

And, Lake Tahoe is just lovely, no matter what.

My daughter took this shot while driving to a sledding park.

We started out going to Camp Richardson in South Lake Tahoe about six years ago with Cub Scouts and the boys and families have been friends ever since. They're in Boy Scouts now and in different troops, but we decided to try and keep the tradition alive.

Yes, that's MY son in shorts and a t-shirt while all the others are dressed somewhat appropriately.

I took one last photo of my two at the sign (we have six years of these now).

Also, my oldest, Miles is now 12. Hard to believe...