What Do I Have to Gain?

I had no intention of blogging twice today, but this quote floated on my facebook feed and it really resonated with me.

I was able to make a rather radical change last year, when I worked very hard at incorporating exercise in my life. The very hardest thing about doing that was changing my overall mindset to crawl and scratch right over it and become someone I did not think I was. As I look back on it, I think, ya know, it wasn't so bad. I was able to do it and the positives of doing it certainly outweigh the negatives.

Starting to move my body and challenge my body was all new and the usual things I thought I was promised--weight loss being the number one--were not the things that happened or even motivated me!

That said, my extra weight still remains a problem for me and I realize when my trainer or anyone talks to me about making dietary changes, my reaction to this is deep in my core.

When I start hearing about low carbs, paleo, no sugar or any of those things, I react deeply. A couple of weeks ago when talking with my trainer, I didn't mention this, but the diet changes terrify me. I can't even explain it. I know that if I move toward healthier eating and lowering my intake to reduce my weight do not mean that I will never again eat a cheeseburger. Or pie. Or getting smashed on a really nice bottle of Pinot Noir. I know this. I know that I can live my life mostly eating sensibly with the occasional celebration. I have proof that this worked for me once.

But, recently, I really locked into those feelings that well up. I don't want to be that person. That person who is healthy and obsessed with what's in stuff or how it will translate to the belly. I just don't.

However, why is that any worse than the internal voice that lives in my now? The one that hears the word "FAT" over and over and over and over and over in my head? The one that feels guilty after too much indulgence? The one that despite knowing that I don't need some crazy fatty, gross meal will still egg me on to do it? How is that any better?

Why do I obsess with what I need to give up?

******

So, let's think about this?

What do I have to give up to change my dietary habits?

1. Being able to just eat what I want when I want.
2. Unawareness (similar to #1).
3. I can't think of a third.

Basically, I give up being able to behave like an uncontrolled child!

I pretty much want to live like a middle-aged spoiled brat.

What do I have to gain by making a change to my dietary habits?

1. Losing weight.
2. Feeling better.
3. More control over what goes into my body.
4. Better day-to-day life.
5. Success
6. Less guilt when I do indulge because I will decide when that happens!