What I Learned Today: Knowledge Does NOT Equal Awareness

At this point in my life, I know what a healthy diet looks like. I read about science, and food and health ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. I know, I know.

I have enough nutrition knowledge at this point to probably become a nutritionist.

I can instantly look at any food and translate it into the Weight Watchers point system.

I can look at a cheeseburger and in my head calculate the calories.

Congratulations to me and my big freakin' brain with all the knowledge.

Knowledge is NOT power!

We are drowning in information.

Knowledge is nothing without awareness.

I do not have awareness. I'm so lacking in awareness, I'm like when Daffy Duck is running and goes off the cliff and doesn't fall until he realizes he's standing in  mid-air.

I'm that unaware!

As I embark upon my year of mindfulness, I've had some pretty huge awakenings on a few things and it's kind of blowing my mind.

Last week, at the urging of my trainer, I began to unravel the mystery of my dead-on maintaining of my weight by tracking everything.

I got my journal and I was completely honest.

I didn't go back and count calories or anything and I didn't monitor myself or hold back because of the documentation.

Today, I went in and input it all into My Fitness Pal and boy, did it reveal a lot.

How can I know so much about food and be so utterly unaware of my own behavior? If I were my own personal chef or nutritionist, I'd be wagging a finger all up in my face.

You know why I can't lose any weight?

I EAT A LOT. 

No question.

In fact, in looking at what I ate last week, which I will say is probably pretty typical, I'm floored at the calorie intake! It was downright shameful. I had no idea. I'm not a binge eater (I tell myself). You won't see me downing a bag of chips or a plate of cookies or candy. I'm kind of a three squares a day person, but the amount was...well, let's just say I had more than one day of more than 3,000 calories! I guess I kept telling myself that because I wasn't gorging the entire day, that somehow I was in control. But, I'm not. This was a typical week. Like most weeks. there are always a few "eating events" and some cheats and the occasional unconscious salad along the way. It was the Super Bowl and Mardi Gras this week. This will always happen and I have done a terrible job managing that.

The next step, now that I have scientific evidence of what I'm doing in the wild, is changing the behavior.

Awareness is hard.

Behavior change even harder.

Because I'm embracing this gradual, drip-drip process, I'm hatching a plan that hopefully will help me develop a daily eating plan that will incorporate into my fun-loving, omnivorous lifestyle.

Stay tuned.